How should couples prepare for the sacrament of Marriage?

The sacrament of marriage, as understood within the Christian tradition, is not merely a legal contract or a personal commitment between two individuals; it is a profound spiritual union, blessed and recognized by God. As such, preparing for marriage is about much more than planning a wedding. It involves a deep, prayerful, and thoughtful preparation that encompasses spiritual, emotional, and practical dimensions.

Understanding the Sacramental Nature of Marriage

Marriage is considered a sacrament because it is a visible sign of an invisible grace. In the Christian context, marriage symbolizes the union between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:25-32). This biblical analogy elevates the understanding of marriage from a mere human agreement to a divine covenant. As couples prepare for marriage, it is crucial to meditate on this profound mystery. Understanding that marriage is a reflection of God’s unending love for the Church can inspire couples to emulate such divine love in their relationship.

Spiritual Preparation

The first and most crucial aspect of preparing for marriage is spiritual readiness. Couples are encouraged to spend time in prayer, both individually and together, to seek God’s guidance and wisdom. Praying together not only strengthens a couple's spiritual bond but also aligns their vision and hopes for their future union. Engaging in a regular spiritual dialogue about their beliefs, values, and aspirations as a couple is essential.

Participating in pre-marital counseling with a pastor or a Christian counselor can provide couples with spiritual insights and practical advice tailored to their unique relationship. These sessions often include discussions on the theological understanding of marriage, communication, conflict resolution, finances, intimacy, and family planning. The Book of Common Prayer includes special prayers for engaged couples, asking for strength and blessing as they prepare to enter the covenant of marriage.

Emotional and Relational Preparation

Understanding and preparing for the emotional aspects of marriage is another pillar of a solid foundation. This includes developing healthy communication skills, learning to resolve conflicts in a constructive manner, and understanding each other’s emotional needs and expectations.

Couples should discuss their past experiences, fears, and hopes. Understanding where each partner comes from can foster empathy and patience—qualities essential for a lifelong commitment. Books like Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages can offer insights into understanding and expressing love in ways that resonate with each partner, strengthening the emotional bond.

Practical Preparation

While spiritual and emotional preparations are paramount, practical considerations are also essential. These include discussions about finances, living arrangements, career aspirations, and how household responsibilities will be shared. Couples should approach these topics with honesty and openness, ensuring that both partners have a clear understanding and agreement on these critical aspects of shared life.

Financial planning, in particular, is often cited as a significant stressor in marriages. Developing a financial plan that honors the principles of stewardship taught in scriptures (such as those found in Proverbs 22:7 and 1 Timothy 6:10) can prevent many conflicts and stresses in the future.

Community Involvement

The role of the Christian community in preparing for marriage is invaluable. Engaging with a community provides moral support and wise counsel. Seasoned married couples within the community can offer mentorship, sharing their experiences and wisdom gained through years of living out their marital vows.

The community can also play a role in supporting the couple through prayer and practical help, both before and after the wedding. The early Christian communities in Acts demonstrated the power of communal living and support, which can still serve as a model for modern believers (Acts 2:42-47).

Celebrating the Sacrament

Finally, the wedding ceremony itself is a public declaration of the couple’s commitment before God and their community. It should be a reflection of the couple’s faith and values, incorporating elements of worship such as prayer, scripture readings, and hymns that resonate with the sacred nature of the occasion. Verses like 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and Colossians 3:12-14 can be powerful reminders during the ceremony of the love and commitment that should characterize their marriage.

In preparing for the sacrament of marriage, couples are embarking on a profound journey of faith. This preparation is not just about a single day but about laying a sturdy foundation for a lifetime. The process involves deep reflection, earnest prayer, and active engagement with spiritual and practical resources. By doing so, couples can not only prepare for a joyful and meaningful wedding day but also for a fulfilling and God-honoring marriage.